


Shutdown

by astrojune



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Declarations Of Love, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 10:32:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16084322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrojune/pseuds/astrojune
Summary: Connor had seen the man drawing his gun and he felt fear. A deep, paralyzing fear that made him too slow.I don’t want to die.





	Shutdown

The shots echoed through the empty road. One after the other, merciless, they hit their target. 

Connor had seen the man drawing his gun and he  _ felt _ fear. A deep, paralyzing fear that made him too slow.

_ I don’t want to die. _

_ I don’t want Hank to die. _

He heard the shots being fired. He heard as they easily tore the fabric of his clothes, as they broke his chassis and forcefully made their way through his body.

Multiple error messages clouded his vision, flashing red.

 

**CRITICAL THIRIUM LOSS DETECTED.**

**SHUTDOWN IN - 00:00:59**

**BIOCOMPONENTS #227A, #813K, #594N DAMAGED BEYOND REPAIR.**

 

_ Help me, please. _

“CONNOR!”

As he sunk to his knees Hank voice reached his audio processors, but it was as if it came from far, far away. 

He heard another shot and braced himself … but it never hit him.

In the distance, a body fell heavily to the ground, lifeless.

Connor did not feel pain. But he was afraid. Fear ran through him as if it was a natural part of his code, it replaced everything, every single logical thought.

 

**_SHUTDOWN IN - 00:00:35_ **

 

“Connor! Stay with me!”

Suddenly he was surrounded by something. It felt good and warm, like he was being protected. He then leaned towards it and then felt fingers squeezing his own.

When he opened his eyes, Hank’s worried face came into focus behind all those flashing warnings. He wished he could stare at those blue eyes instead of being constantly reminded that he was dying.

 

**_SHUTDOWN IN -00:00:20_ **

 

“... scared.”

“No, no, don’t be scared. Help is on its way, okay? You’re gonna be alright, Con. I promise you.”

He wanted to feel better. He really wanted his fear to be washed away by Hank’s words. But it didn’t go away. It filled his thoughts like a virus rapidly spreading and infecting his code.

“Just, stay here with me … please.”

 

**_SHUTDOWN IN - 00:00:10_ **

 

_ I don’t have much time. _

_ Please, Hank, forgive me. _

He closed his eyes. The warnings didn’t go away. He didn’t want to see them anymore.

 

**_SHUTDOWN IN - 00:00:05_ **

**_SHUTDOWN IN - 00:00:04_ **

 

Behind the warnings appeared the distorted images of his memories. Hank hugging him in front of Chicken Feed, his first walk with Sumo, that one time he tried to teach Hank his tricks with the coin.

 

**_SHUTTING DOWN …_ **

 

The memories faded to black. The warnings stopped flashing and disappeared. Hank’s voice and the sirens far away became silent. The warmth became a cold embrace.

_ I’m sorry, Hank. _

* * *

Connor’s body went rigid in his arms, his eyes closed and his LED became dark. Hank’s trembling fingers brushed against the android’s thirium-stained cheek, his own wet with tears that he didn’t realize he had been shedding.

He held his body tightly against his own as if he wanted Connor to feel him there with him, wherever he was now. He wanted to make sure he knew how much he cared.

“It’s gonna be alright,” he whispered, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against the android’s.

Around him, sirens blazed and men shouted to one another, yet Hank couldn’t really hear any of it: it was like a background noise, distant and muffled.

Hank’s world was reduced to the lifeless body in his arms, it felt as though everything else just ceased to exist.

Not even when he felt a hand on his shoulder he tore his eyes from Connor’s face, nor did he speak.

“Lieutenant, they’re here.”

It was Officer Miller’s voice.

Hank knew what it meant, knew what he had to do, yet he did not move. He just couldn’t let Connor go.

“Hank, they need to take him away.”

Miller’s voice was softer. But it didn’t mean his words hurt any less.

Several footsteps approached. Their regular rhythm echoed in Hank’s mind like a brutal clock reminding him that his time had ran out.

_ I couldn’t protect him. _

He felt as they ripped Connor from his arms, he tried to hold on to him but it was useless. He was left on the ground, emptiness filling his arms and his heart.

“RK800 model. Serial number 313 248 317 - 51. Hit by three gunshots in the chest and abdomen. Lost a critical amount of thirium. Multiple biocomponents damaged.”

Hank forced himself to tear his eyes away from the poodle of blue blood in front of him. He saw Connor’s hand dangling from the stretcher where they had laid him.

_ “... scared.” _

His voice had sounded so weak and it had felt just as if someone tore his heart from his chest. 

_ I can’t leave him. _

He didn’t know where he found the strength to stand, but he did, and walked to the men in the white uniforms.

Everything was a blur. The tears in his eyes made it difficult to see and even when he wiped them away, they were quickly replaced by new ones.

“You need to stay away, sir.”

“I have to stay with him. He’s scared.”

Was it his voice? He knew it was, but he couldn’t shake off the weird feeling that it belonged to someone else. Just like he was a puppet whose strings were being pulled by someone to make him move and act while he was trapped inside himself.

“That’s not possible, sir. Please step back and let us do our job.”

“No … I can’t leave him alone.”

He looked at Connor inside that white van. Hands on his shoulders pushed him away as the doors closed, hiding Connor from his eyes.

“Hank, come on, I’ll drive you home.”

Hank gestured vaguely to towards the van driving away. Towards  _ his  _ Connor, scared and alone, trapped in oblivion.

He should’ve been in there, holding his hand, telling him that he was going to be okay.

“He’s … he’s scared. He needs me. I have to go.”

“You can’t do anything for him. You know that.”

Hank watched the van disappear around the corner. He closed his eyes.

When Jeffrey guided him to his car he didn’t resist.

* * *

**MODEL RK800**

**SERIAL #: 313 248 317 - 51**

**BIOS 10.2 REVISION 0976**

 

**REBOOT …**

 

**MEMORY INTACT**

 

**LOADING OS …**

**SYSTEM INITIALIZATION …**

**CHECKING BIOCOMPONENTS … OK**

**INITIALIZING BIOSENSORS … OK**

**INITIALIZING AI ENGINE … OK**

 

**MEMORY STATUS …**

**ALL SYSTEMS OK**

 

**READY**

 

The world came back to him all of a sudden, almost startling him.

Connor looked around, trying to identify his surroundings: he was laying on his back against something hard, in a small room with white walls and blinding lights on the ceiling.

Sitting on a stool next to him there was a young woman with her red hair pulled up in a big bun. She was checking something on a tablet and wore a light colored uniform with the CyberLife logo.

She looked up at him and smiled kindly, her green eyes shining.

“Welcome back,” she greeted him.

“Hello,” he replied, absently. 

His memories hit him violently: the gunshots, the countdown to his shutdown, Hank holding him and telling him it was going to be okay …

_ Hank.  _

_ Where is Hank? Is he alright? _

“I have to run a few tests, okay?”

Connor replied with another question, instead.

“Where is Hank?”

“I’m sorry … who?”

“Lieutenant Hank Anderson, he is … he’s my friend. 6’2. Grey hair and blue eyes.”

The woman nodded in acknowledgement, her expression tensing briefly before she returned to her reassuring smile.

“He’s been here for the past two days,asking about you. Unfortunately we couldn’t tell him anything nor let him see you. As soon as I’m done you can go back to him.”

_ Two days. _

“Have I been out two days?” he asked, even if the woman had already made it pretty clear.

“Yes. You were in a very bad shape. That and you being one of a kind made it quite hard to find compatible biocomponents.”

Connor nodded, his hand brushing against the places in his body where the bullets had hit.

“Don’t worry, you’re as good as new.”

_ Good as new. _

He didn’t feel that way. Yes, his body wouldn’t have borne any scars, but what happened was clear in his memory. Above all, he couldn’t forget the fear. 

“Alright, everything is in working order. You can leave, RK800.”

He silently sat up from the table where he’d been laying. He planted his feet on the ground and was almost afraid to fall, but his legs supported his weight with no problem when he pushed himself off the table.

He walked out of the room. He had no idea where he was. Somewhere in CyberLife Tower, for sure.

“Connor!”

His head snapped towards the familiar voice, instantly feeling a warmth spreading inside him where there had only been a cold void. 

Hank was right there, in the middle of the corridor. His face was tired, dark circles under his eyes made it clear that he hadn’t been sleeping well, if at all.

Before he could do or say anything, Hank walked rapidly towards him and pulled him into a hug so tight, Connor was sure it would’ve knocked the air out of him. Good thing he didn’t need to breathe.

“Christ, I was so fucking worried. These assholes wouldn’t tell me a thing.”

He gently put his arms around Hank’s waist and timidly laid his head on his chest, listening to his fast heartbeat.

“I’m so sorry, Hank.”

Hank put his hands on his shoulder and pushed him away, staring at him, confusion plain as day on his tired features.

“What the hell you’re apologizing for?”

“For scaring you. I should have been more careful.”

Hank shook his head and held him firmly, looking right into his eyes.

“Now listen to me, alright? It wasn’t your fault. I don’t want to hear anymore of this shit.”

Connor looked down. There was so much he wanted to apologize for. He hadn’t been fast enough because he’d let his fear paralyze him. He’d died in Hank’s arms and that probably hurt him, bringing back old, painful memories.

He felt the grip on his shoulders relax a little as Hank sighed, then one of his hands moved on his back, caressing him.

“Hey, do you … want to come home? Sumo’s been missing you a lot.”

He smiled. He knew Hank wasn’t referring to his dog only. It was nice knowing someone in this world cared about him.

“Yes, Hank, I’d love that.”

* * *

Connor couldn’t really tell who snored louder between Hank and Sumo.

It made him smile as he watched them sleep. He would’ve liked to sleep too, a few hours without his mind torturing him with endless questions he had no answer to.

_ What if I can’t be fixed next time? _

_ What if my memory is destroyed? _

_ What if something happens to Hank? _

In the dark room, his LED casted a faint red light on his surroundings.

He carefully got out of bed, silently, not wanting to wake either Hank or Sumo. He left the room and closed the door behind himself, heading for the bathroom.

Once there, he turned the light on and stared at his reflection on the mirror.

_ I am here. _

_ I am alive. _

He lifted the fabric of the t-shirt Hank had lent him and stared at his chest. His fingers brushed against the places where the bullets had hit and he let his skin retract, revealing the new, undamaged chassis beneath it.

If he concentrated, he could still feel the sound of it breaking as the bullet breached it.

“You okay?”

Connor flinched and let his skin cover him again, fixing the oversized t-shirt over his body.

“Yes.”

It didn’t sound so convincing as he had hoped.

“You wanna talk about it?”

He knew he wanted to. But Hank needed to sleep, he had already done so much for him, he didn’t want to keep him up.

Hank didn’t wait for an answer. He put an arm around his shoulders and led him to the living room, sitting next to him.

“I was so scared. I couldn’t move.”

Connor talked after a few minutes of silence. After those simple words, everything else just flowed out of his mouth. He told Hank about his fear, about  _ knowing _ he had to do something but being completely unable to move. He told him about ceasing to exist, about waking up as if nothing happened.

He told him about the fear of never coming back again, trapped forever in the oblivion.

Hank listened in silence. When Connor cried, he held him tightly and stroked his hair. They stayed like that for a while until Hank spoke.

“I love you.”

Connor didn’t look up. But he was confused? Was it just a way to comfort him? There was no way Hank would have said those words to him.

They were partners, good friends even. But those words? They meant they could be more.

“You … love me?”

Hank let out a soft laugh.

“Yeah … you say that as if it’s impossible.”

“But it is! Deviancy or not, I am still an android … I could never give you what another human being could!”

This time, the man scoffed.

“I don’t give a shit about that. Look, Connor, if you don’t care it’s okay. I’m old and fucked-up, I know this. But after what happened to you, after being so close to losing you forever .... I just had to tell you, make sure you knew. But nothing has to change between us.”

_ He thinks I don’t love him. _

The thought was … unsettling. Connor didn’t know pain, but he was sure it was something really close to what he was feeling in that moment.

He took Hank’s face in his hands, closed his eyes and just kissed him. It was soft and awkward and Connor didn’t really know what to do. He knew  _ how _ to kiss, but  _ doing  _ it was an entirely different thing.

Hank didn’t speak. After a quick scan Connor could tell his heartbeat had increased.

“I love you too, Hank.”

Connor reached for Hank’s hands, worried by his prolonged silence.

“Are you alright?”

“Couldn’t be better.”

Connor smiled fondly.

_ Me neither. _


End file.
